


Troll Girl Dicks by Dave Strider feat. Rose Lalonde

by CleverGlasses (UltimateProtagonistNerd)



Series: Other Song Parodies [5]
Category: Homestuck, Wheatus (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Rated M for being a song about alien penises, Sexual Humor, Song Parody, This isn't even innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:52:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateProtagonistNerd/pseuds/CleverGlasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A parody of Punk Ass Bitch by Wheatus, as performed by Dave Strider (c) 2015.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Troll Girl Dicks by Dave Strider feat. Rose Lalonde

**Author's Note:**

> Original Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwP_cnnAohA

"come on rose, john already turned me down, i wrote both of you guys parts because you have experience in this."

"Dave... why do you want me to perform a pop song about my girlfriend's alien genitals?"

"It's not just a... damn it rose, please, for me?"

"Fine, are we recording this into your camera?"

"you know it, the mayor is a fuckin' beautiful cameraman, you go mayor!" he gives a thumbs up to the carapacian manning the tripod for the music video.

**\----------------**

**Dave**

It wiggles and it waggles

It jiggles and it jaggles

I stand and watch her pass by

No line of vision, red-eyes

 

It's kinda creepy when she smiles

Red really turns her dials

Imma see her later, fuck her in a crater 

I snagged her with my swagger, so gonna shag her

 

I'm about the Can Town-a, get funky, let's get down-a

Red capes and sick beats, really heats my plasma

Man she has that ass, what style, no social skills, but compensates it

I can deal with this type a' shit, yeah I must admit she's got a troll girl dick

 

**Rose**

I look her up and down-a, amazed at what she struts out-a

It's just a testimony, that she'll ride me like a pony? (Her face singing out this line looks like: Dave what the fuck is this even?)

That she's got a hot vampire ass, now I'd fuckin tap that

That she's got class, and style, social skills and comprehension

 

I can deal with this type of shit, yeah I must admit she got a troll girl dick

 

**Both**

I can deal with this type of shit, yeah I must admit she got a troll girl dick

Oh woah, oh woah, oh

 (just then John bursts in: "Wait! I can do this Dave!")

(really? sweet)

 

**John**

You know I want to fuck bro, and I can't seem to let go

He gives off attitude-a, smutty season to be rude-a

I think that smuppets rock, and I could suck his cock

And I will see him later, while in the elevator

 

He snags me with that swagger, da da da da doo da

A man just like a ninja, I should snap a picture

Machismo and great Penis, makes me sing like Wheatus

Damn he has got an ass, gay style, hot dick, no competition

(dave strider is seen visibly crying)

**Rose**

I look her up and down-a, amazed at what she struts out-a

It's just a testimony, that she'll ride me like a pony? 

That she's got a hot vampire ass, now I'd fuckin tap that

That she's got class, and style, social skills and comprehension

 

I can deal with this type of shit, yeah I must admit she got a troll girl dick

 

**Dave**

I can't deal with this type of shit, damn you John, you idiot...

\-----------

"we just can't upload this crap onto the internet now rose, john completely fucked it up with his little idea of a "prank""

"Dave, uh... it's too late, that went up live"

"...oh shit"

 

_Epilogue_

The video was seen all over the Strider's friend group, it was really embarrassing and Dave didn't talk to John for like, three weeks. Only the mayor and Terezi were allowed in the room he locked himself in.

Kanaya blushed heavily upon listening, and later had sexy fun time with Rose

John continued to insist that it was to prank Dave and he wasn't really "gay for Bro", some people don't buy this claim.

Bro was included in the list of people who didn't believe it, and he delivered John Valentine's day presents including (but not limited to) Smuppets, Con-Air HD Remix Blu-Ray movie, Chocolate shaped like a dick, Magnetic Poetry sets, and flowers. 

**Author's Note:**

> Dicks, just dicks everywhere, I'm amazed at all these dicks all over the place. Both literally and figuratively. (As in John was a dick for pulling a stunt like that)


End file.
